It is not so bad being the slave fed on scrambled eggs :P But fourteen hours day work sounds not funny. I believe it's like two full-time jobs. I hope that I have got very little to do, and eventually I'll go home with full pocket and no further obligations.

Slaver`s dreams

I realise that I live in dreams. There are no things based on predictions. There are no reasonable decisions only what I dream about. So every time I need to defeat with reality because there is no chance to do impossible things. Two semesters in one, three projects or so in one time. Yeah, problems with being not organised, underchallenged. And then stupid methods of getting rid of it. I need to ask for help. And what is more important I ought to listen to someone who cares about me.

Until I don't deal with it being slave is the only solution :P So, greetings from a gold cage...

Fear, fear, fear

Last time when I felt like now was about one and a half years ago… I am full of fear about losing my bf, losing money, relationships, about doing what I want… I know that if I don’t change it immediately I will destroy myself at all, and then lose everything what is precious and important. And after that I believe that it would occur that I didn’t have to lose that. So changes, changes, changes are indispensable.

The second thing I have discovered today is that I deserve for some pleasurable things only if I do some basic things like work, etc.

Introduction

Introductory words are so useless and dull. Still, I can’t stem myself from writing something. I will treat this post as a set of regulations. So any further complaints will be ignored. In this blog I will present my reality, so if you don’t like it please leave a comment, but don’t expect any answer, any flame war etc. I am too old for wasting time on such things. Everything resembling spam will be deleted at once. Don’t hesitate to answer, share your opinion, it’s not a kindergarten, more like an asylum :P And the last thing: any suggestions of how my English could be improved are kindly requested. What is important is that I may change this entry in a similar way to the one in which pigs changed rights in Orwell’s Animal Farm.

What am I writing for? To tell the world my blah blah blah opinions. To give a sign of my existence. To try out my boyfriend's idea about taking down some notes and coming back to them in the future. We will see what comes out of it.